The benefits of alcohol

September 23, 2010

Alcohol was the first element discovered by man, before fire, water, or silicon. Alcohol is used by remote jungle tribes to prevent obesity, clean spears and invoke animal spirits.

There is a lot of bad press about alcohol but when used right it can be beneficial. Alcohol is the bodys preferred source of fuel as it is burnt before fat, carbs or protein  100% FACT. Alcohol, or ‘Dave Stewartson juice’, named after its inventor, is the main ingredient in haribo gummy bears, although more than 99.9 % of it is burned off during production, leaving only the bear extracts behind.

When alcohol is entered into the body through the alimenatry canal or other orifice, it actually spurs an increase in metabolism which enhances performance. I have experiemented with drinking rum in my coffee whilst working out and it seems to have an extraordinary effect; I enter into a trance like state and feel no pain, and for about an hour I am the most hardcore fitness buff in the gym.

There is 1 strange side effect I have noticed, which is that after drinking a lot of alcohol I feel kind of sick afterwards, like if I drink alcohol in the evening I dont feel 100% the next morning. I’m not sure if this is correlated or pure coincidence yet but I plan to do more research to find out what is causing these random bouts of headaches and dehydration. i have found though, that drinking more alcohol actually gets rid of these illness symptoms very quickly, proving its healing proporties.

Whilst i wait to get checked out by a doctor to find out whats causing my morning sicknesses, I will continue to keep drinking more alcohol in the morning to combat the mystery illness. I take a shot of rum with my other supplements and it seems to ease the symptoms very quickly, although I need to top up with a couple more shots later in the day too. Alcohol really does have some kind of special healing property if it can make me feel so much better so quickly….so I urge you to try it for yourself!

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3 Responses to “The benefits of alcohol”

  1. joffoutlaw said

    Genius. Absolute genius.

  2. Squiffy said

    Many thanks for these amazing tips! since late September I’ve been topping up on my daily alcohol intake and I must say I’ve never felt better, being under house arrest its an absolute godsend!

  3. Tracy said

    Wow! I’ve been advised by my physician to do some gentle exercise as I’ve now reached my third trimester. Problem is I suffer from sickness jsut as much as you, so I’ll be trying a wee shot of rum in my tea in the morning and maybe another post workout (hee hee). Hopefully the healing properties will make a difference to me and the little one. xxx

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