Get oaked

November 2, 2009

If you have ever washed a whisky across your taste buds, swilled a salubrious rum, or inhaled a fine pinot noir betwixt palette and glass, you will know the effect that oak wood can have on wines and spirits, allowing refined aging as the liquor acquiesces to the infiltration of smoky character.

Contact with wood puts us literally in touch with our primal ancestry (all humans evolved from trees), as well as imparting a unique character, and improving night vision through darkness customisation. To test these effects I will be nocturnally inhabiting a B grade American oak barrel which I acquired from Ricky the Hat last week, it has some sticky red residue left in it but after cleaning should be fine.

Studies have show that aging is caused by the passing of time, and since humans ‘age’, I believe they should do so within the dim confines of a bourbon tun, so that the osmosis effect can begin drawing out my toxins. Studies have shown that wood aging can make your body more robust, and by robust I mean huge. I hope to wood-age myself 6 months and see what happens.

If drinks improve with oaking, why cant we?


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