Killer coffee, wet water, and thirst induced back pain

October 30, 2009

“Did you know every cup of coffee contains 40 grams of saturated fat?”

I saw this poster up at my local LA Fitness gym, and I was SHOCKED.

I never knew that coffee was so fattening, so now I’m going to try to reduce my intake dramatically, it’s going to be hard to resist grinding up my Jamaican Blue Mountain, but we all know that fat is the #1 killer in the world.

So apart from coffee, what can I drink? Personally I like to drink extra wet water which is really expensive at my local health food store, I can actually feel the additional moisture coursing through my body, they must have been literally pouring the hydrogen into that bad boy.

Another option is to drink your own urine, which is totally sterile (surgeons use it to prevent germs living in their hair).

But what will happen if you don’t drink? Well, as I once learned, your L5-S1 disc will probably burst out of your lumbar.

It was 2001, and I had not had ANYTHING to drink. I was in a rush. I was going on holiday very shortly and wanted to complete the worlds biggest hardest workout so I could get uber buff for my holiday. I loaded up a bar with my own body weight.

I am going to tell you what happened next.

I BOUNCED the bar off the floor with a rounded back and felt a SEVERE TWANG. I knew I had injured myself badly, but decided to finish my workout by 20 back hyperextensions. I left the gym and progressively lost the ability to lift my legs without excruciating pain. I manually dragged my leg into my car but couldn’t press the clutch pedal, so drove home by forcing the car into gear and stalling it. I got home, ly down on the floor and fell asleep. When I woke up I couldn’t get up. I got an ambulance to hospital and had gas and air, emergency physiotherapy. My disc had BURST out and OBLITERATED my sciatic nerve. I couldn’t walk for two days and have been in pain for 7 years, requiring epidural steroid injections.

All because I didn’t drink any water that day.

Be warned.

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One Response to “Killer coffee, wet water, and thirst induced back pain”

  1. susan dewitt said

    On the other hand, those found to be drinking water are often in a far worse state of decline : Old people always have a glass of water by their bedside for a drink in the night (usually containing a crusty old set of gnashers flavouring the water with debris of previous meal). Cats can be found slurping copious amounts of water from the toilet only to die some days later (suicide? by water), your father who insists that should he ever be caught drinking water someone should shoot him. To avoid discs exploding out of their membranes do not go to the gym!

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